Sunday, October 20, 2013

The Moral Force of Women

As some of you know, this past Spring I decided that, with Buddy starting Kindergarten in August, now was the time to return to school, to finish what I started as an 18 year old many, many moons ago (Actually, I don't think strike through is the proper way to convey that in social media anymore.  Now it should be #manymanymoonsago.)
I was incredibly excited when I realized that because I was registering as an online student I could start school before the Fall. So, I immediately threw myself into school. And I loved every second of it. Okay, maybe not every second, but I loved that I was learning so much.

Yet, it was really hard.  Apparently, there is a big difference between staying up all night to do homework as an 18 year old and as a 36 year old.  Who knew?!?  I started to wonder if I had been right about returning to school.  Yet, Handsome Husband and I had prayed about it before I started and, at that time, we both felt it was the right thing to do.  So I kept plugging along.

Unfortunately, it didn't get any easier.  In fact, it got harder.  I've never been a great housekeeper, but that got worse.  Not having time to exercise and trying to live without sleep was making me gain weight and feel gross.  But, the biggest problem was not having time for my family.  Thanks to the online option of school, I was around physically, but I wasn't "present".  School was constantly on my mind as I desperately tried to keep up with assignments.

A few weeks back was the 183rd Semiannual General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  All of the talks given were amazing and had an impact on me.  After all the sessions, Handsome Husband and I came to the conclusion that maybe, at this time, school was not where I needed to be.  This was a strange idea because just a few months ago I was completely certain it was where I needed to be.

I have learned over the years that when I have questions about anything, the best thing to do is to kneel in prayer and ask Heavenly Father what I should do.  As the prayer began, I immediately felt that I needed to quit school.  Without a doubt, I knew that was what I needed to do.  I do not know the reason I went to school for only a few months.  Perhaps I will never know.  But, I know I learned a lot.  Cal Baptist is an excellent school.  Seriously, if you are considering going back to school, I would highly recommend CBU Online.

Already I can see how this decision has positively impacted my children.  They are young enough that they still desperately need my time.  I know that the security of knowing that I am always here for them, no matter what, will help them to be stronger and better able to face the unknown of the world we live in.

I am not saying that because we found that this was the best choice for our family, that it is the best choice for every family.  I am a firm believer in the fact that each family is unique in what is the best for them.  I know that if you prayerfully read through or listen to every talk from General Conference you will also know what Heavenly Father would have you do in your life.  If you are curious, the talk that had the most impact on my decision to leave school, is The Moral Force of Women by Elder D. Todd Christofferson.

I hope to now have a little bit more time to blog like I love to do.  Along with the great relationships I have with friends and family, I love the connections and the friendships I have made with those of you that I have never met in real life.

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1 comment:

melissa gargalis said...

This is a sweet post. You will know when/if the time is right. No regrets!

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